I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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