I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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