Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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