She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
