Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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