he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
