apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you would pick up someone in the library
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
