Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
