Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
