I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
