Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
