i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
