I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
