I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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