Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
