It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Never let your siblings swipe right.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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