i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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