Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just want nice things and good sex
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
