Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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