Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
