I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
