can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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