I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
