Grow some girl-balls and come out already
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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