why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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