i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
