You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
