I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You ate ashes out of my bong
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