Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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