if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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