If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We smell like vodka and hangover
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