Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
