Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
