hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
