No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
it's great music for shaving your balls
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
