I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
