I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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