We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
