just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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