If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
