Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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