if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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