I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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