This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I need a beard to bite.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
