it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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