I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
