its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
