bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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