well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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