Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
not ubering you a puppy
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
