why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
