new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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